27 January, 2011

Parenting FAIL

Yes, I've been MIA for awhile. No, this post doesn't necessarily mean I'm back, it just means I felt the need to mock someone in public(ish), and this is the best forum available to me. So, commence mocking...

I flew to DC last weekend to visit friends in advance of a work trip. I was practically bouncing I was so giddily excited to get back to one of my favorite cities, with some of my favorite people, and SNOW!! ACTUAL WINTER!!!

Adding to my excitement, was the fact that I got upgraded to first class, so I was looking forward to a restful, relaxing flight up north. When boarding the plane, there was a man in his mid-30s standing in line with me, holding two car seats with twin baby girls, couldn't have been more than 7 or 8 months old. They were adorable and quiet, just staring up at me and blinking. I didn't think twice about why he was boarding early, just figured it was because he was traveling alone with two small children and was part of the whole "if you need assistance getting down the jetway, or are traveling with small children and need extra time" thing.

So I board, get settled down into my seat with my iPad and headphones ready to go, and the latest edition of Wired magazine to get me through the first ten minutes of my flight without electronics (the horror!). Now, imagine my surprise when the person who takes the seat behind me turns out to be none other than single dad guy. I smiled at him as I got up to let him in, but glanced around curiously, trying to figure out where the twins were. Finally, confused, I asked him. "Oh, they're in coach." Ummm....okay...like...the row right behind us? I turned around, craned my neck. No, no, they're not right behind us. I turned back to Bad Dad, and, rather confused, asked him where. "Row 12." Row...we're in row 2. Your infant twin daughters are sitting 10 rows back, in coach, while you're in first class?? Okay, well there must be a nanny or something with them who I didn't notice before. I glance back at row 12. No nanny. There is, however, a 6'4" man advancing towards row 12. He stops. Looks at babies. Looks up. Looks around. Asks various surrounding passengers who the babies belong to. Gets crickets in response. He hesitantly sits down in the aisle seat, occasionally glancing around uncomfortably until flagging down a flight attendant and asking her a question. In answer, she points up to first class. He gets an incredulous look on his face as she walks away, and he stares uneasily at his new traveling companions.

I try to take comfort in the fact that he doesn't look like a serial baby smotherer.

The moment we take off, Bad Dad goes to sleep with his headphones in. He sleeps through the plane going through multiple spots of turbulence, all of which cause his twins to start crying. (Okay, he didn't sleep through one of them, but only b/c I "accidentally" kicked him. Hard.) Never once did he get up and go to the back of the plane. Never once did he glance back to check on his daughters. Never once did I stop staring at him in horror, during the entire flight.

I'm genuinely surprised that 6'4" probably-not-a-baby-smotherer-guy didn't beat the living hell out of him when he went back to get the girls after we landed. I don't think I would have been able to exhibit that level of restraint had I been in his position.

Parenting FAIL.

11 August, 2010

Another Year Older

Happy Birthday to Me, Happy Birthday to Me, Happy Birthday dear C.........Happy Birthday to Me!

Yup, that's right, it's my birthday! I went home to see the family (my cousin was my personal photographer for the weekend, so I'll have those pictures later) last weekend, and it was amazing!!! We had everyone over for dinner, Mom and Dad made all my favorite foods (Flank Steak, Yellow Cake with Chocolate Icing, etc.), and we all just had an amazing time. Mom set a beautiful table, bought and arranged fresh flowers, and it looked so great that I had to take pictures!

And on today, my actual birthday, my friend S sent me flowers, all the way from across the ocean!! And not just any flowers, flowers shaped like a cupcake!! With candle and everything, they're adorable!

Do I have the best friends and family in the world, or what? Love you guys!! :)

03 August, 2010

I'm Harriet Nelson!

Or June Cleaver. Or Margaret Anderson. Pick your favorite 1950s matriarch, and for tonight (and only tonight), I'm her.

When I realized I was baking a quiche while wearing a dress, pearls, heels and an apron, I just had to document it for posterity. After all, though I bake often, it almost never happens when I'm wearing pearls! Come on, you can't honestly tell me that you wouldn't have done exactly the same thing if you found yourself in the same situation!!

23 June, 2010

The Highest Compliment

I've just received what I believe is the highest compliment that any member of the Wetzel family (my college roommate A, her sister Angie, from Shallow Thoughts, and the rest of their fabulous, fun family) can bestow. In a letter she wrote me, Momma Wetzel said "Oh that C, she's just like Disney, she thinks of everything!". I don't think, unless you know them, you can really understand what a high compliment that truly is. These people LOVE their Disney! After a month of non-stop travel, no sleep, and getting sick, that compliment absolutely made my day...heck, my whole week! So thanks Wetzels...you guys are the best!

14 June, 2010

More Airport Weirdness

Seriously folks, if your suitcase is bigger than you (and you're a full grown human) it's really NOT a carry-on. And no matter how long you argue with TSA about it, it's not going to suddenly become one! Also. Don't argue with TSA. That's always a bad idea.

I find it difficult to believe that the man in the Guitar Hero felt pants is a first class passenger.

Is there a reason the seat numbers on the plane go 17, 19, 23, 15, 21, 18, 23?

11 June, 2010

Airport Weirdness

The gate attendant just announced that he needs 2 volunteers "to protect me.". That's it. Punto. Fin. Nada mas.

Protect him from what? The yapping Maltese in the pink carrier waiting to board (Please God don't let it be sitting next to me....)? The throng of people patiently waiting for their seat assignments (Seriously folks, you can pick them out ahead of time online, then you wouldn't have to do this!)?

In other news, the security folks seem to be overly stressed out for a day when I could count the number of people in line with one hand. One guy kept shouting "ALL THE WAY TO THE END! MOVE YOUR BINS ALL THE WAY TO THE END!" when everyone WAS all the way at the end. Clearly it was time for his coffee break.

Oh, and did I mention I'm posting this from my iPad? Joy! Internet on the go...how did I survive before??

10 June, 2010

I suck...

Why do I always wait until the last minute to pack?? I suck at non-work-related packing! Work-related packing, I'm a rockstar. Vacation packing? I suck. Argh!!

09 June, 2010

Open Letter to My Building (Part 3)

For reasons passing understanding, the third floor smells like fish. None of the other floors smell like fish, so I'm not quite sure what's going on down on three, but if you could take care of that soon, that'd be awesome.


16 May, 2010

Shockingly Productive Weekend

I had a shockingly productive weekend. I actually organized, which is something I used to love to do, but haven't been able to bring myself to tackle in the last seven months. I cleaned out beneath my bathroom sink, and my dresser. I think the next project will be the linen closet and my walk-in closet. And someday I'll have to sit down and figure out my filing...my formerly well-organized system has now been reduced to stacks of paper in various locations around the house. Oh, and I'm caught up on my TiVo. Which is awesome...is it weird that I feel guilty when my TiVo starts getting full? Yes, I'll answer that one myself, it is weird. I'm feeling guilty for having a life. That's sad on several different levels. Guess I'll have to start getting used to that feeling again. June has me traveling out of town three of four weekends: the West Coast of FL for K&E's wedding, Ohio for my cousin A's High School Graduation (can't BELIEVE she's that old!), and California for a mini-vacation and H&J's wedding. This'll be my first trip to Cali, so I'm very excited! I can't wait to get there! And hopefully, I'll have an iPad to accompany me! I've ordered one, and have no idea how long it will take to get here, but the nice lady at the Apple store seemed to think it would be in time for the big cross-country trip, so everyone keep your fingers crossed for me! I want a new toy!! :)

Oh, and on a totally unrelated note, I have no idea why or who, but someone has given me a gift subscription to Condé Nast Traveler. Anyone want to own up? It appeared in my mailbox today, and I was told that it was a gift, and the giver wishes to remain anonymous. Seriously? I can see with flowers, or jewelry, or something else, but Conde Nast Traveler? Really?

09 May, 2010

Ahh, Weekend Update...

It's always nice when pop culture says some of the things I've been thinking while watching the news...

I haven't really watched SNL for a few years now, but had to tune in for the Betty White episode, and was pleasantly surprised by Weekend Update!