25 February, 2009

Most Ridiculous Ash Wednesday Service EVER

It was completely bizarre.

I went to Mass on my lunch break today, so that I could get Ashes. It was, BAR NONE, the strangest experience I've had as a Catholic. First, the whole thing was done in Spanish and English, which is fine, except it took twice as long as it should have, b/c they had to do everything twice. Fine, we're in South Florida, everybody's bilingual, I can deal, no problem. Then, the priest announces that he's not giving ashes on the forehead, because of the gospel reading for the day: "Jesus said, Beware of practicing your piety before others in order to be seen by them; for then you have no reward from your Father in heaven." (Matthew 6:1-6,16-21) Okay, I can totally get behind that. I think it's a little weird that you want to sprinkle ashes on my head instead, but I can be flexible, no worries.

Then came the kicker.

The priest announced that he would not be giving ashes to anyone who came up to the alter WEARING SHOES.

Yeah, that's right, he made us all take off our shoes, in the middle of the church, and then walk up to the alter barefoot.

I was stunned. First of all, he didn't even attempt to back this up with scripture, or some sort of explanation, he just said if you're wearing shoes, you're not receiving ashes. So here we are, in a congregation with tons of 70+ year old people, who are all now bending over to unlace their ORTHOPEDIC SHOES to shuffle up to the alter and get ashes. Really Father? Really? I just don't get it, it makes no sense. But I did it, walked up barefoot, got ashes sprinkled on my head (after the woman totally forgot she wasn't supposed to be putting them on my forehead, so tried to rub them off, which really just made an even darker mark than would have been there otherwise, but whatever.), then went back to work.

Oh well, at least this wasn't my regular church....I can promise you I'm never going back to the crazy foot-fetish church again though!

Hope everyone had a good Ash Wednesday!

24 February, 2009

I'm a bad Catholic

I was reading my friend Angie's blog over at A Book A Day (if you haven't already, go and check her out...it's really well written, and as many of us can now attest, totally addictive!!), and today's book was about Mardi Gras.

I thought to myself. Wow, I can't believe it's Mardi Gras already! Easter is just around the corner. Then the little voice in my head said: "Yes C, Easter is just around the corner. 40 days around the corner in point of fact." At which point I remembered: tomorrow is Ash Wednesday...a Holy Day of Obligation...i.e. a day on which Catholics have to go to Mass. I'd COMPLETELY forgotten about Ash Wednesday. I'd like to blame the illness, which kept me from Mass this Sunday (I figured God would understand, since I couldn't actually get out of bed, and I also figured he wouldn't want me infecting the rest of his congregation.), but honestly, it just completely slipped my mind. I'm a bad Catholic. I haven't even figured out what I'm going to do for Lent this year!! Any suggestions?

But in an effort to redeem myself, I've resolved to get up and go to 6:30am Mass tomorrow morning before work. Which means that all day long, I'll get to deal with the people saying "Excuse me miss, you've got something on your forehead." And the people with no concept of personal space who actually attempt to wipe the ashes off for me. Let's institute a general rule, shall we? If I don't know you, you don't get to clean me.

And on that note, I'm going to take my prescription strength cough medicine with codine and watch President Obama's "Not the Official State of the Union Address." G'night all!

22 February, 2009

I wish I was lying....

Apparently people at work don't actually believe I'm sick. Well you know what kids, I wish I was lying. But to prove to you that I'm not, I'm going to go in early tomorrow, and lick all your keyboards, mice, and phones. Then, when you come down with this lovely little gem of an illness, I'm going to do my "I told you so" dance all up and down the corridors. Because a sick C is a spiteful C. :P

19 February, 2009

Well, I'm sick....

For the first time since I was 8 years old, I have a fever. An actual, honest to God, 103 degree fever. And it occurred to me as I was reading the thermometer in shock this morning, that I don't really know what to do with a fever. There was a nagging little voice in the back of my brain (probably my mother) saying that fevers = contagious. Plus I sound awful and feel worse, so work probably wasn't a great idea. I started coughing on the phone with one of my colleagues and they basically begged me not to come in. Okay, fair enough. A was visiting last weekend, and came down with basically the exact same thing, so it seems that my initial "contagious" instinct was spot on. Whenever she's sick, she always says (in very dramatic fashion) that "Death is immanent!" Or in SMS speak: "D is I." My preferred phrase is "I feel like death on a triscuit." And today, it's really true. The chills, followed by a heatwave, followed by a coughing fit...it's distinctly unpleasant, and if the next fever-illness can wait another 18 years to come around, I would totally support that decision.

Yuck.

16 February, 2009

Me!

I found out this evening that A describes me to people as follows: "C is like the friend characters in one of those wholesome pre-teen books or movies. Like Babysitter's Club or Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. One of those things that makes you feel good, but it's not exactly edgy. It's good, clean fun. Things might go badly in the middle, but you know it's all going to be okay in the end."

She's never told me this before, and she's astonished, because apparently she's been describing me this way to EVERYONE for years. She says literally everyone who's ever asked her about me, has gotten this description in response. I'm not sure how I feel about this...I think I'm okay with it, in no small part due to my love of wholesome pre-teen books or movies, but I'm curious to know what you all think of this.

And seriously kids, this is one of those times when comments are not only encouraged, but required. COMMENT PLEASE!! :D

12 February, 2009

I'm back again....

First of all, there's nothing quite like the bliss of removing the 2.5 inch heels you've been wearing for 16 hours straight. Let's remind me not to do that ever again, shall we? I think tomorrow's a flip-flop day.

Next:

As expected, DC was amazing, and I didn't get to stay nearly long enough. You must all get tired of my "it was great to see the gang again" posts, but really, going back and forth reminds me of how much I love the friends I made up there. The boys were making fun of me because I couldn't stop smiling the whole time, even when I was venting about stupid people. :) Even now, remembering all the dinners, drinks and coffees, I've got a quiet little smile on my face.

The flight back to Florida was good. I felt a little like I was in an episode of The West Wing. I looked out the window of the plane, and I could see the moon rising through the clouds with us as we took off. And it slowly got higher and higher up in the sky as we flew south along the ocean. I remembered a quote from TWW. Bartlet says: "A long flight across the night. You know why late flights are good? Because we cease to be earthbound and burdened with practicality. Asking important questions. Talking about the idea that nobody has thought about yet. Put it a different way..." And Sam replies: "Be poets." It made me smile (more), and the whole thing made me realize that I'm a lucky girl. I was talking about this with the boys while I was back in DC. I like my life. Love it really. I have a job I adore, and even on the worst days, it's better than any day I worked at the Bank. I have a wonderful family, and friends I treasure, all of whom I'd do anything for. So on balance, I'm an incredibly lucky girl. And all it takes to remind me of that is a late night flight along the ocean. :)

08 February, 2009

I'm Leavin' On a Jet Plane....

But at least I know when I'll be back again! Thursday evening. Sadly, none of my bags are packed, and I'm not in the least ready to go, but I don't have anyone to wake to say good-bye, so I suppose that's one time-saver. And I'll be driving myself, so no taxis. AND, I'm not so lonesome I could cry, I'm heading to DC to see all my friends, so no crying here!! I'm going to reconnect with the gang, get some KICK-ASS Indian food, and oh yeah, do a little work somewhere in there too. :)

(Sidenote: Did any of you know that a group called "Slightly Stoopid" made a version of that song that requires an Explicit warning label? Really?? How do you turn that song explicit? Actually, I retract that question. I'm not sure I want to know.)

So I'm off...I'm not going to ask any of you to kiss me, smile for me, or tell me that you'll wait for me, and in return I'll promise not to come back wearing anyone's wedding ring! Have a great week everyone!

06 February, 2009

Best Evening of Phone Calls Ever!

A quiet Friday evening at home after dinner with Aunt MC. I was curled up in bed reading a book, and enjoying the quiet. I'd spoken to my friends in Indy earlier, and knew that they were going out to celebrate the February birthdays (Everyone wish A, R&J a happy birthday month!). So I wasn't altogether surprised when Train's "Drops of Jupiter" (my ring for all my college friends), started sounding on my bedside table. Of course, I expected it to be A, regaling me with anecdotes of the evening. I should NOT have been surprised when it was B instead, telling me that he and J had managed to surreptitiously signal the waiter to bring the entire staff of TGI Friday's to come over and sing happy birthday to A. Loudly. With clapping. While trying to force her to stand on a chair. Which, clearly, she didn't do, because after all, she's spent 26 years cultivating a reputation for herself, and she's not about to ruin that all in 3 minutes standing on a chair in Friday's!

So I laughed until my stomach hurt during the conversation with B, as he gave me the play by play of what was going on in the restaurant. It was lovely, and a perfect way to end the evening. Except of course, it wasn't over. A called shortly thereafter as she drove home for the evening, and we proceeded to have one of those conversations that I want to record for posterity, to come back and read in a year or two.

To wit:

A: How often does this sort of thing happen to you?
Me: What, people cutting me off in traffic and then slowing down?
A: No, people hitting on you in the car.
Me: Ummm....never?
A: SERIOUSLY?? NEVER??
Me: No, never.
A: WHAT AM I DOING THAT ATTRACTS THESE PEOPLE???

A few minutes later:

A: What's your best 'hitting on' story?
Me: Ummm....I don't know, I've never really thought about it.
A: Well you had the 40 year old at the pool....and the 40 year old at the bar!
Me: You're right, you're right, those were both good ones.
A: You just attract a different genre than I do. I attract the drunken debauchery, you attract old people.

I love our friendship!

05 February, 2009

Another one of those days...

It started off innocently enough. It was cold outside. Yes, I know, wimpy Floridians, etc. etc. But no, seriously, it was 25° out this morning when I went out to my car. And I hadn't paid attention to Al Roker this morning, so I was unprepared and had to go back in and change. The short-sleeved shirt and cute skirt were NOT going to cut it today. So then I was running late. And then I had the series of meetings that wouldn't end. So I wasn't in a very good mood. Then people kept talking to me about complete and total nonsense. Asking questions they should have known the answers to, asking questions that there's no way I could possibly know the answers to, without having perfected my mind reading device (the missing element is a flux capacitor, funnily enough). And even my friends were pissing me off by saying stupid things, which those of you who know me well know doesn't happen very often. So there's that.

And now I'm just in a bad mood. I have this fantasy of taking all the people who've asked me asinine questions today, locking them in a room, and hiring a guy to beat them about the head and shoulders with a big damn stick. Not even the arrival of my Amazon.com order of "Street Gang: The Complete History of Sesame Street" could cheer me up. And when muppets fail? Well, there's really only one solution.

Bubble bath and a glass of wine.

03 February, 2009

I promise, this will be the only time....

I'm mentioning Britney Spears in my blog.

I know, I know, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do it, I didn't want to do it, but this one, single comment just requires mocking. I was perusing People.com tonight, as I'm often wont to do before bed, and I came across this article about Sam Lufti suing Britney Spears. I was confused, and thought it was a typo: aren't they suing him? Then I read the article, and this part just jumped out at me:

"'Since the publication of [Lynne Spears'] book, Lutfi has been subjected to unfathomable amounts of ridicule and scorn,' and has received 'numerous death threats from overzealous fans,' the lawsuit reads, adding that Lutfi can 'no longer find work as a counselor of at-risk teens.' "

Sam Lufti was a conselor of at-risk teens? Really? At risk for what, success? Happiness? I seem to recall that under his tutelage, Britney shaved her head, flashed 3/4 of the country, attacked a car with an umbrella, was committed, and oh yeah, LOST CUSTODY OF HER CHILDREN! Really Sam? What are you counseling them on? How to completely unravel in the public eye in less than a month?

Oh celebrity gossip....what would we mock without you?

01 February, 2009

The Superbowl

Well, congratulations to the Pittsburgh Steelers, who've won the 2009 Superbowl. I'm sure their fans are very excited. As for myself, pretty much the only time I care about the results of the Superbowl is when the Colts are playing.

Yes, I'm THAT GIRL, the one who watches the Superbowl, goes to the parties, only to watch the commercials.

So to that end, my favorites for 2009:

- Both of the Heroes commercials: the Feelin' Alright ad, and the Football Ad.


- Anything with the Budweiser Clydesdales (I am my father's daughter after all!):


- The Taco Bell Commercial ('cause yeah...totally been there!):


But I have to say, the attempt at redoing the "Mean Joe Green" commercial? Yeah, kind of a Fail for me:

Sorry guys, not nearly as good as the original.

Also on the list of ads that didn't do it for me this year? The Cash4Gold ad with Ed McMahon and MC Hammer. I'm sorry, but it didn't make me want to use their service, it just made me kind of sad that Ed's this hard up for cash...as for Hammer, well, he was pretty much already there. I guess in this economy, even celebrities have to do what they have to do! As for the CareerBuilder.com ad about when it's time to quit your job? Annoying. Not funny, not overly memorable, just annoying. It goes on about twice as long as necessary.

On a sidenote: I can't believe they're remaking Escape to Witch Mountain. That movie's old enough to remake now? I officially feel old. Also, what's up with the remake of The Fast and The Furious? The two sequels they already made were dismal failures at the box office. The first one wasn't even that successful, but somehow they think that adding Vin Diesel back into the mix is going to be the key to success? Have they seen his last several movies? Wait, I know the answer to that question: probably not!

Finally, once again, I love Hulu. What a genius idea to have all the best Superbowl Ads posted on their website as the game is going on!! So next year, I can just pop some popcorn, heat up some nachos, order a pizza, and have a movie night with the girls, then when the game is over, head to Hulu and watch all the commercials!

Unless of course Peyton's playing. In which case, I'll be glued to my TV, along with the rest of the world, screaming for the Colts. Go Indy! :)