Yes, I've been MIA for awhile. No, this post doesn't necessarily mean I'm back, it just means I felt the need to mock someone in public(ish), and this is the best forum available to me. So, commence mocking...
I flew to DC last weekend to visit friends in advance of a work trip. I was practically bouncing I was so giddily excited to get back to one of my favorite cities, with some of my favorite people, and SNOW!! ACTUAL WINTER!!!
Adding to my excitement, was the fact that I got upgraded to first class, so I was looking forward to a restful, relaxing flight up north. When boarding the plane, there was a man in his mid-30s standing in line with me, holding two car seats with twin baby girls, couldn't have been more than 7 or 8 months old. They were adorable and quiet, just staring up at me and blinking. I didn't think twice about why he was boarding early, just figured it was because he was traveling alone with two small children and was part of the whole "if you need assistance getting down the jetway, or are traveling with small children and need extra time" thing.
So I board, get settled down into my seat with my iPad and headphones ready to go, and the latest edition of Wired magazine to get me through the first ten minutes of my flight without electronics (the horror!). Now, imagine my surprise when the person who takes the seat behind me turns out to be none other than single dad guy. I smiled at him as I got up to let him in, but glanced around curiously, trying to figure out where the twins were. Finally, confused, I asked him. "Oh, they're in coach." Ummm....okay...like...the row right behind us? I turned around, craned my neck. No, no, they're not right behind us. I turned back to Bad Dad, and, rather confused, asked him where. "Row 12." Row...we're in row 2. Your infant twin daughters are sitting 10 rows back, in coach, while you're in first class?? Okay, well there must be a nanny or something with them who I didn't notice before. I glance back at row 12. No nanny. There is, however, a 6'4" man advancing towards row 12. He stops. Looks at babies. Looks up. Looks around. Asks various surrounding passengers who the babies belong to. Gets crickets in response. He hesitantly sits down in the aisle seat, occasionally glancing around uncomfortably until flagging down a flight attendant and asking her a question. In answer, she points up to first class. He gets an incredulous look on his face as she walks away, and he stares uneasily at his new traveling companions.
I try to take comfort in the fact that he doesn't look like a serial baby smotherer.
The moment we take off, Bad Dad goes to sleep with his headphones in. He sleeps through the plane going through multiple spots of turbulence, all of which cause his twins to start crying. (Okay, he didn't sleep through one of them, but only b/c I "accidentally" kicked him. Hard.) Never once did he get up and go to the back of the plane. Never once did he glance back to check on his daughters. Never once did I stop staring at him in horror, during the entire flight.
I'm genuinely surprised that 6'4" probably-not-a-baby-smotherer-guy didn't beat the living hell out of him when he went back to get the girls after we landed. I don't think I would have been able to exhibit that level of restraint had I been in his position.